Out of loneliness, i confessed to a girl a love that was not truly there. I’m sorry but theres a reason why it didnt work in the first place.
Let’s just be friends or something. Whatever.

im done with my stay in texas. im going to cali. for a month with no plans whatsoever.

have you ever fed your brain so much bullshit, entertainment, visual stimuli, and media that you end up getting a headache? when i do absolutely nothing positive for my brain, it tells me. my head throbs and all i want is nothingness. i want my head to be clear and be void. when i think of nothing, my brain doesn’t hurt. that’s how i fell asleep last night.

I smoked mj for years, with a bulk of that taking place during my college years. So many people smoked and I met a lot of cool people through smoking. I jumped on the bandwagon that smoking was just a way of life and that there is no real harm that comes from smoking. Excuses like “No one has died from it, unlike alcohol.” and so many more similar ones. I was naive when it came to marijuana. Cuz you know, Cannabis is just a plant and it’s been around for centuries.

Here’s one thing I want to share – unless you grew the marijuana plant yourself, or know how the grower grew it, don’t assume its safe! Assume it is harmful.

Phosphoload is a chemical that was used to increase yield in cannabis plants. That, any many other similar products, were taken off the shelf due to carcinogens and CANCER causing agents… However, growers still use them by buying them “under the table”. It is not meant for consumption, but gallons and gallons are used for the most illicit used substance in this world – marijuana.

If you ever work with plants, you know that pests and insects are a problem. Same with cannabis. Pesiticide is used and sprayed all over the plants, making an unharmful plant potentially harmful. “No one has died from weed” FALSE. There has been a death related to the use of AVID, a pesticide used on cannabis.

These two are just two examples of why my view of MJ has changed. I quit!

tasty, healthy, delicious

Money is considered “legal tender” and it isn’t backed by gold. What does this mean? It literally is just paper. 

The Federal Reserve, a PRIVATE institution, has control over the flow of money and its interest rates. What does this mean? To circulate money in a nation or country, for example the US, the gov’t needs money to release into the public via projects, works, loans, etc (TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT), so that people like you and me can make money and benefit from public works. So where does the gov’t get the money? They BORROW it from the Federal Reserve, with INTEREST. 

That being said, the very first dollar that the US gov’t borrows, they already owe $1.XX back to the FR. Fast foward 2013, no one should be surprised that we are in debt. You can’t escape it, it’s literally IMPOSSIBLE, unless a catastrophic event takes place and wipes everything out (nuclear war, earthquake, etc). Even then, the few individuals will control currency. 

Guess what Federal Income Tax is for? 3 months out of 12 months worth of pay goes straight to paying off the gov’t's DEBT. That’s right. 

All in all, governments are a facade of power, a mere figure head. The real power lies in a few individuals who control the money source. 

Fellow people, be aware of this. The corruptness in this system is obvious to those who search for it, while ignorance is bliss for everyone else. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re ignorant.

I know what i’m missing. 

I miss plugging in to a mixer, strapping on the Breedlove and singing. I miss playing in a band – the drums, the keyboard, bass guitar, and the other vocals. There is a certain freedom that comes with singing your heart out, something you cannot experience any other way.

Up on the list of things to do when i get to NY – go make some noise!!!!

July 15th is D-Day! 

I always had the notion that Xanga will stay around forever!!!! But that seems to have been a mere fantasy…

According to the Xanga team, if they don’t raise $60k by July 15th, then Xanga will be officially shut down… If they do raise that much, everything is going to change.. everything!

Xanga has been my journal of randoms, thoughts, feelings, and experiences.. all of which I planned to look back on many years later… but now that may not be possible *sad face*

That is unless I download all the archives and my contents and back it up. But that’s for non-lazy people.

Xanga4ever

i met a pretty cool doctor as i was going to the physical treatment clinic for the past 6 weeks. Dr. Pham is a short old man but he is wise and has a positive outlook on all things. it’s pretty awesome to see that.

on my last visit he said something to me that stuck out in ways that it hasn’t before. i’ve heard “priority” a billion times but this time it really hit home. 

he started with this – you need air. 4 minutes without air you die. you need water. 7 days without water you die. you need food. 30-40 days without food you die. the priority is obvious. you need priority in all aspects of life to be successful. easier said than done. 

there are 24 hours in a day. 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for work. what you do with the remaining 8 hours will really determine how your life will be, successful or not. do you spend your time on facebook? gaming? computer for endless hours? do you exercise? are you learning something new everyday? are you investing in something? are you eating correctly?

if those 8 hours are spent unwisely, then surely you will lose mastery of your brain, your body, and soul. 

there was a time back in 2nd year of college when my gf at the time never believed that i would go to the gym and get fit. ill say i would go and she’d be like “yeaahh suree” which was right on the spot at the time. now after going to the gym for a couple of months and committing myself, i think back to that time and think “HAH” 

Anyways, for a couple of months i’ve been averaging 3-4 times a week at the gym, 2-3 days running, throw a whole bunch of swimming in there, drinking lots of water, working, sweating a lot this is my result!

i have overall muscle gain, focusing on my shoulder,back,chest, and legs. a lot of ab workouts with my cardio gets me pretty cut and keeps me from getting too big. i could be more fit but my diet kind of contradicts my workout… the occasional beer, wine, fried chicken, and lack of consistency in meals pulls me back a lot.

regardless… feels good to look good and be healthy. 

nts-get a new phone