I know what i’m missing. 

I miss plugging in to a mixer, strapping on the Breedlove and singing. I miss playing in a band – the drums, the keyboard, bass guitar, and the other vocals. There is a certain freedom that comes with singing your heart out, something you cannot experience any other way.

Up on the list of things to do when i get to NY – go make some noise!!!!

July 15th is D-Day! 

I always had the notion that Xanga will stay around forever!!!! But that seems to have been a mere fantasy…

According to the Xanga team, if they don’t raise $60k by July 15th, then Xanga will be officially shut down… If they do raise that much, everything is going to change.. everything!

Xanga has been my journal of randoms, thoughts, feelings, and experiences.. all of which I planned to look back on many years later… but now that may not be possible *sad face*

That is unless I download all the archives and my contents and back it up. But that’s for non-lazy people.

Xanga4ever

i met a pretty cool doctor as i was going to the physical treatment clinic for the past 6 weeks. Dr. Pham is a short old man but he is wise and has a positive outlook on all things. it’s pretty awesome to see that.

on my last visit he said something to me that stuck out in ways that it hasn’t before. i’ve heard “priority” a billion times but this time it really hit home. 

he started with this – you need air. 4 minutes without air you die. you need water. 7 days without water you die. you need food. 30-40 days without food you die. the priority is obvious. you need priority in all aspects of life to be successful. easier said than done. 

there are 24 hours in a day. 8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for work. what you do with the remaining 8 hours will really determine how your life will be, successful or not. do you spend your time on facebook? gaming? computer for endless hours? do you exercise? are you learning something new everyday? are you investing in something? are you eating correctly?

if those 8 hours are spent unwisely, then surely you will lose mastery of your brain, your body, and soul. 

there was a time back in 2nd year of college when my gf at the time never believed that i would go to the gym and get fit. ill say i would go and she’d be like “yeaahh suree” which was right on the spot at the time. now after going to the gym for a couple of months and committing myself, i think back to that time and think “HAH” 

Anyways, for a couple of months i’ve been averaging 3-4 times a week at the gym, 2-3 days running, throw a whole bunch of swimming in there, drinking lots of water, working, sweating a lot this is my result!

i have overall muscle gain, focusing on my shoulder,back,chest, and legs. a lot of ab workouts with my cardio gets me pretty cut and keeps me from getting too big. i could be more fit but my diet kind of contradicts my workout… the occasional beer, wine, fried chicken, and lack of consistency in meals pulls me back a lot.

regardless… feels good to look good and be healthy. 

nts-get a new phone

things i have experienced while i was in Texas that i have not in NY:

-The sheer amount of Vietnamese people. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was in Vietnam.
-For the first time, I had the pleasure of mowing the lawn and using both lawnmower and weedwacker. It was fun the first time, now it sucks balls.
-The average highway MPH is around 80-90 while NY it’s around 60-70.
-I got my first Fire Ant bite. Now I know why they’re called Fire Ants.
-Usually, when you turn on the water, cold water comes first as you wait a couple of seconds for the warm water to come out. Here HOT water comes out first and you wait longer for the COLD water to come. Weird..
-So many Walmart’s. The place has EVERYTHING
-One creature comfort, the Air Conditioner, is one of mans best invention! It is so frikken HOTTTTT here. SO HOT.
-I never looked forward to COLD showers. But now I love them. Feels so good

-There is a CHINESE FOOD drive through. For the fat texans.

-Different foods. For example, Kolaches or a spicy/sour mexican lollipop x-x
-Around new years, they sell fireworks for really cheap. Fun stuff.
-There is a bar in the movie theater. First one I went to I got Henesey on the rocks.
-I’ve done some illegal dumping. Major.
-I’ve worked in the attic before. Also hot as balls in there. 

The list will go on.

On another note – i realize this is the first year in which: i haven’t gone to any church retreats, will be missing a volleyball tournament for memorial day, haven’t been to bethpage park. oh and no school whatsoever =)

one can dream all they want. but if they really want it, they’ll go for it. 

i want to reach my goal but i see so many obstacles. i see so many opportunities where ill contemplate giving up. but this is my discretion and pre-game prep. 

get your shit together and don’t ever give up!! don’t be a quitter you fuck

i don’t have a doubt that in the near future i will find myself a nice girl and settle down. it isn’t my top priority because i finally see that love is something i cannot rush. i learn from my past relationships that if i rush into something, it ends badly. right now, all i can say is that i have faith in God that my career and my love will fall into place

HOWEVER, these are the things i want in my girl -

a beautiful smile that makes me want to cherish her.
above average smart girl. quick and witty.
im short so someone not taller. just as tall is okay.. i guess..
not afraid to speak her mind!!
esp. when it comes to sex! i like sex so she must like sex.

i give off an abnormal amount of body heat. im always embarrassed to hold a girls hands because they get clammy.

because of all the exercise i do, i give off MORE heat!! jesus

swimming, running, and lifting weights. because of my muscles, my body is just too hot … …

I think I live in an era where holiness and righteousness are thrown away easily. The very meaning of life and love can be easily replaced by something else.

In an era of instant gratification, all the meaningful things are VEILED. People are distracted by consumer goods – people turn to money, to work and buy things, hoping it will bring happiness (it certainly can, in some ways). But I see it as a tragedy. 

This is how I see it – people are willing to sell their very own soul for material goods. In a world where logic, reason, and tangible things take priority, our very own souls are overlooked because of all the shiny “cool” new things dangling in front of us. Thank advertisement, media, and consumerism for that – for turning some people into mindless consumers brainwashed to think a NEW PHONE, a BMW, and a hot ass girl means your set.

What good is it if one gains the whole world and its treasures only to lose his or her own very soul?

I don’t want to sell my soul. Is there a point of no return?

stop right there. that’s exactly where I lost it. see that line? i never should have crossed it.